Forgiveness, Healing and Inner Freedom

Forgiveness purifies us and frees us

There is much written about forgiveness.  It is not a novel concept to come across ideas regarding healing, spiritual growth and forgiveness.  Forgiveness is also a very important part of any mental/emotional work, as it is one of the major keys we Work with in most healing modalities or spiritual paths we walk and/or study. 

Working as a counsellor and teacher for many years, I frequently come across individuals who have challenges letting go and healing from painful past memories.  Many of us carry burdensome fears, grief, guilt, painful memory loops, resentments, anger, revenge fantasies, frustrations and so on from past experiences involving difficult situations with others from past relationships - whether with family, friends, work environments or even strangers.  In most cases, various levels of health issues are also a part of these individuals' experiences.


People have shared many traumatic stories with me and I have had a few of my own stories to contend with, so inner pain is no stranger to most people I have met ... no stranger to me.  

The pain individuals feel can also be seen on a larger scale in cultures/groups who have been unnecessarily targeted with fear, hatred, greed, power and control issues.   Don't we all have stories ... individuals and cultures alike?  Don't we also have a collective human story? 

Throughout our collective histories, human lives have been full of stories of suffering and pain.  When we review our histories and cultural stories, we can find endless examples of needless suffering and pain.  I use the term needless, here to shift our topic today towards personal responsibility.  

External causes of suffering and pain occur in situations like war, when people are killed and tortured needlessly.  Yet these wars go on - murder and torture continues even today when we like to imagine we are far more civilized.  We wage wars inside of ourselves as much as wars are waged externally.  Once again, we find this principle of macrocosm and microcosm ... or as within, so without.  Individually and collectively we are responsible for our inner and outer world conditions.

Examine your own inner world.  Examine your health, your body, your tensions, your postural holding patterns, your breath.   Just as we are meant to be free of tyranny and war and pain as a collective people on this planet, so too are we meant to be free within ourselves ... in our bodies, minds/emotions, and spirits.   Forgiveness is so huge due to what it does to us when we do not let go and forgive.  Much of what we hold onto we are no longer even conscious of, so when someone tells us we are in need of forgiveness, we may imagine otherwise!  It may be shocking to you to realize how much you do hold onto when you may imagine you have nothing to forgive ... your body, your habits, your reflections in the World say otherwise!

Again, I ask, in a new way (as somewhere in the pages I have written elsewhere, I point to this idea):  How can a people so riddled with inner wars, disharmonies and incongruencies ever hope to live in peace on a larger worldly scale? How can we hope to attain optimal health given the conditions of our inner states?

In my Work, the individual is a key.  I am my own key and have my own Work.  Start freedom within yourself.  Heal yourself.  Free yourself from inner bondage and war.  Let your scars heal.  Uncover your own self-protective measures from wars which may have been long gone in your inner and collective histories ... in yourself and in your family and ancestral lines.  If you are currently in a stressful, traumatic situation and your inner war is here and now, then you must take the steps to get the support, guidance and tools to free yourself and to heal.

Just like outer wars are justified in our world, where all parties have their own stories, are convinced they alone are justified and deny personal responsibility, we too do exactly the same thing.  I often encounter huge layers of resistance and buffers within individuals ... I have to deal with their justifications and layers of inner defences to seeing themselves clearly and to seeing the parts they have played in their own suffering, health issues and mental/emotional patterns.  I also walk this path myself, so I understand that it is not always an easy one.   Everyone could use a cleaner mirror - not everyone is prepared to look and see what is truly there under their preferred view of who and how they imagine themselves to be.


There is no one immune to the above description, though I have met many who imagine themselves to be somewhere they are simply not.   We easily fall into illusions and cycle around in circles going back the same place when we imagine we are progressing - which happens when we get caught up in self-importance and illusion.   Don't we see this too on a cultural level?   People die for causes they are convinced are justified and yet simply do not see the fallacy and false ideas they cling to.  This Work is very individual and is the exact reason why we get so much variety in results to efforts in the field of healing and spiritual Work.

I have said and will continue to say again that this is very individual Work and one only gets the results according to what one is ready for, is able to do and according to the personal inner level of Being one can Work to attain with consistent Work over time.  For those who have asked for the keys to healing, these two paragraphs hold the biggest key: Quite frankly, once you are on a true Path, you and you alone determine your attainable level of healing, inner freedom and spiritual development.  


Prayers and affirmations have been used since we have records of histories.   Since we all do have inner dialogues anyway, these prayers and affirmations are useful tools in replacing the many negative patterns we have developed over time.   As a close to this topic, I offer you three levels of prayer and affirmation in relation to healing through forgiveness: one of the keys we work with.   If they speak to you, use them for your personal work.  You can also create the three in your own words according to how you like to state things and according to your own beliefs:

Three levels of forgiveness: 

Level 1 is forgiving others:   We forgive others in order to free ourselves from carrying around all the trapped energies in relation to these experiences ... imagined or real.

Level 2 is asking for forgiveness from others:   We ask for forgiveness in order to admit personal responsibility for things we may have thought, said or done which may have contributed to the suffering of another.

Level 3 is forgiving ourselves:  we forgive ourselves, which is often the hardest ... which can sometimes also be why we (sometimes unconsciously) find it challenging to forgive others.



If you desire to work with forgiveness and speak to these people directly, you can do so, but it is not necessary if you feel that it would either be inappropriate, or that the individual would not be receptive, or that you simply wish to do it on your own.

LEVEL 1

 

Think of a person and do one at a time for a deeper effect.  Then, in certain parts, be more specific with the memories...ie.  say what you are forgiving them for.


--  I forgive you for your ignorance ... for not knowing better ... or for knowing better and not doing better

--   I forgive you for any and all things you have done or that I imagined you have done.

--   I have suffered due to my reactions to these things and have experienced pain and perhaps various illnesses or health issues as a result of this inner suffering.  I am ready to let go of all of that now.

--   I have been unhappy and unwilling and unable to free myself in order to fully give to life what I really am.

--   I forgive you for not being able to do better

--  I forgive you because I know that in order to inflict pain, one must also be in pain or be so out of touch with their essential nature that they do not know what they are doing - nor the consequences of doing so ... I can feel compassion for someone in that state

-- I forgive you ... I can let you go ... I release any and all negative ties, emotions, mental movies and projections of any sort between us on any and all levels

--   I expect nothing from you, for I am able to free myself from this inner suffering and require nothing from you in order to do so

--  I let go of any conscious or unconscious desire to punish you for anything from this day forward ... I release any and all negative emotions, memories and thoughts of you or what you may have done or what I may have imagined

--  I now forgive you.....     I now open my heart .....   I now send you a blessing of healing for any suffering of your own

LEVEL 2

 

 

--  Please forgive me for times I have been ignorant ... for the times I did not know better ... for the times I knew better and did not do better .... forgive me  ...

 

--  Forgive me, please,  for ever thinking, saying or doing anything that may have contributed to your suffering in any way ... forgive me for not doing, thinking or saying what may have assisted you in some way ...

 

 

--  Forgive me for anything I may have done or for what you may have imagined I did or said ... forgive me anyway

 

 

--   Forgive me for the times I was in pain and lashed out in negative ways ... I am so sorry that my pain caused you any grief or suffering of any kind

 

 

--   Forgive my imperfections and patterns I am aware of and work to transform and forgive all that I do not yet see I am responsible for

 

 

 

LEVEL 3

 

 

-- I forgive myself for all I have done ... for my ignorance ... for not knowing better ... for the times I knew better and did not do better

 

 

--  I forgive myself for any and all negative thoughts, words and actions over the course of my life

 

 

--  I take responsibility for all I have done and I realize that I made mistakes due to ignorance, due to my suffering and due to my own pain

 

 

--  I forgive myself and hereby let go of any need to further punish myself ...whether mentally/emotionally, physically or spiritually ...

 

 

 

--  I open my heart ... I am free ... I am healed ... I release anyone and anything from any expectations ... I  hold onto nothing which can harm me ...  In every moment I am able to let go of more ... open my heart more ... release more ...

 

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When you do these prayers and affirmations, you would find an extra benefit and result if you do one of the following things:

 

--  if you go to a church, go when they are open and it is quiet and take the time to spend with this exercise ... the environment will add a huge benefit ... if you can do candles, light one for each person you work with in the forgiveness exercise

 

--  if you do not attend church and enjoy nature, go to a very special spot and do it there ... you can bring candles if you wish

 

--  if you do not choose to go outside or do not wish to or can't for some reason, set up a special place at home ...  make an altar and have your candles ready there ... set it up to do one person for each candle or do all the people and have one candle ...this will depend on how long you feel you require for each person you want to forgive and release ...are you doing this all in one day/  are you breaking it up into several workings?  Consider all this and design it as you feel it will work for you ... you can always do it again!

 

You have this idea now.  you can use these prayers and affirmations or you can get the ideas, and create your own ways of saying these things.   Pick a time every day, pick the people in your life you know you have to do this work with and begin to do these with real feeling daily until you feel the shift inside yourself.  Perhaps you need to work with one person for days or weeks ... perhaps it is all at once ... no one can tell you how long ... here is the tool and the Work is individual.  You know it is real when a shift happens, you heal something, you gain energy, your outlook shifts, and so on.  Sometimes we return to this work to find there is more to let go or new things to let go....

 

Forgive and heal

Forgive and be free

Forgive and let go

Forgive and Live

Forgive and open your heart
Forgive and BE in Peace

Forgive, ask for forgiveness and forgive yourself 





Remember, as with all things, be gentle with yourself and with this process.  We have the ability to do this without adding more pain ... feel the freedom and joy this brings and allow it to BRING YOU MORE LIFE!