Since I last wrote a blog topic, I have encountered several situations in my work with similar themes. I am reminded about how common these themes really are. I decided to put in a quick blog to assist those with whom I am working with - overseas, in North America and here in my own community. This blog will answer some of the e-mails and phone consults I have received and provide a reminder of some of the things we have discussed. As these topics are so very common in society, we can all gain benefit from reviewing them.
 |
| Face your fear |
Let's take a look at fear.
This past spring, my father came for a visit (he has since passed away a few months ago but is with us always in our hearts and fondest memories). My son enjoyed visits with his grandfather and liked taking my father around the property (we live in the country), and finding bugs, reptiles, and fish in the pond to look at.
They found snakes several times over the years. We have pictures of snakes in bushes, in pails and so on. This one day, my son told my Dad to bring the snake they found over to show me and to pick it up so he could take a picture of it. I have pictures and a video of my Dad holding the snake by its tail and it squirming around wildly. As I came up to them, I said, 'Hey - the snake could get hurt and is very uncomfortable being held like that.' My Dad said, 'Well, I am scared of getting bit.' I walked over to my Dad and said, 'Here give it to me and watch this - it's far more uncertain of what you are going to do to it ... look at how big you are!' I took the snake and transferred it gently from hand to hand as it thrashed around, carefully avoiding its head. I projected a sense of calm and told them to be still and quiet. It started to slow down its movements until eventually I had it sitting up in my hand quietly. My son then took one of his best pictures - the one you see here.
My father was surprised - he asked: 'You are not afraid of getting bit?' I said, 'Well, sure, some snakes will bite, but it is because they are protecting themselves when feeling threatened. Don't give them a reason to feel threatened and most of the time you will not get bit. The way you were handling it made the snake feel threatened so it likely may have bitten you.'
I am accustomed to being in nature and catching snakes as well as other creatures for me and my son to look at. We were hiking some time later and caught a much larger snake than this one and were able to calm it down in the same manner - until it sat quietly on my arm. I was bitten by a small snake like the one in the photo above many years ago, but when I went to catch it, I hesitated and felt fear for an instant and in that instant of hesitation, I was bitten.
Our minds get in the way like this in many things - for those of you who have trained in the movement arts with me for some time, you will know how this relates to your body and to freedom of movement as well ... freedom on the inside corresponds to freedom in the outside. Inside creates outside ... in many ways.
A few years ago, we came across a crow in the middle of the nearby highway. It appeared disoriented and I decided to pull over and pick it up, as I felt concerned that it might get run over. I used a shirt to grab it and to hold it and I brought it into the vehicle. As we drove away, it was thrashing about wildly with its eyes bulging. I held it in such a way that it could not bite me, and I calmed my insides down and then held it close to me and began to sing a gentle song for it. I just made it up in the moment and it had a lullaby quality to it. Soon, it stopped thrashing about and it settled down and relaxed - always looking into my face. I kept this bird in my house for three weeks as it rehabilitated. We became fast friends. When it was time for it to go, I let it go ... What struck me was the way it settled down when I sang and how it never took its eyes off me; I felt as though it understood that I would not hurt it. Once it settled down, I never had another issue with it. This experience made me think about fear and the unknown. When we are in a situation that we are unsure of and we feel threatened, we have reactions that come out in our behaviours; we, too, can thrash around emotionally, mentally and physically ... we, too, can be calmed. Though we can seek out assistance or come across it (there are so many loving caring people in the world who are happy to offer assistance), when we are in suffering or in pain, sometimes we are alone and must learn how to tame the inner beast ourselves.
These stories remind me that if/when we can feel the fear, face the fear, and move forth regardless of it, we can then come into the place we need to be in order to cope, to heal, to see clearly etc. Many times, we find that our fear was misplaced to the reality of what is truly before us in the moment. Other times, feeling fear is a gift: it is telling us to get out of a dangerous place or away from a dangerous person or situation. The trick lies in knowing which is which.
Go back in the older blogs I wrote and read about my experiences with shrews and deer mice. I am a huge fan of deer mice - they also make great pets. Rats are wonderful creatures as well. I learned directly through observations of shrews how fear leads to tension which, in extreme cases, can lead to death (or intense perceptions of stress ... I say perception because in all situations I encountered with shrews, they were not treated badly - they were simply very aggressive and tense upon being captured, which we had to do as they were coming into the house). Go back and read the story in my earlier blog ... deer mice are very different by nature. Are you more like the shrew or the deer mouse? Fear ... your inner reactions to things ... affects your health very directly .. the way you move very directly and the quality of peace and ease in your life ... very directly.
Fear and anger are often related. Sometimes, when someone is angry and we look a little deeper, we can find that Fear is the actual root. We discuss aggression and anger below.
Anger and aggression
Some of you have spoken to me about dealing with frustration, anger and other aggressive tendencies - either in yourselves or in those with whom you are in relationship with. Yes, with Work we can transform aggressive energy. One thing which is helpful is to seek out guidance and work through these things with counsel. Assistance from someone can bring forth insight and practical suggestions for Work which can transform and heal these physical, mental and emotional states. One way in which aggression can transform is when it is utilized outwardly in some sort of creative work.
It is also beneficial to do movement. Have you ever done forms or run or push-ups when feeling angry? The upper body is important to clear out which is why people sometimes punch things when they feel anger ... the energy runs up and out the arms so we can take advantage of that and clear it out. Have you felt this in your own body? If you are sensitive to it, you will actually feel the energy rise up and move into the arms. With developed awareness and choreography of your own energy, you can take advantage of this and release it so your body does not hold the charge in a negative way ... which it will, in the form of accumulated tensions over time.
Fear is also held in the body in the same way... in the form of accumulated tensions over time. You can see how this happens, for example, when someone freezes and is unable to move when frightened, as fear often affects the legs. Sometimes people have been known to collapse in response to a situation. These are extreme examples, though, and most people are not aware of how fear traps energies, drains energies and creates unnecessary tensions in their bodies, as most are not sensitive or aware enough to feel this as it happens. When reacting to things, we have less ability to respond with appropriate action in the moment. Tensions due to fear can appear in other parts of the body as well.
How often do you feel angry? Look and see if this is a habitual pattern for you, though, and if so, we have to look a little deeper. In the moment, movement can clear out a lot of this pent up energy and assist one in relaxing. The important thing to do is to deal with the root so it doesn't end up becoming a chronic issue.
One of my teachers once told me that anger is misdirected unfocused energy. With proper guidance, we can learn to bring awareness to aggression in the moment and to channel it and focus it into something positive.
What are your thoughts, beliefs or feelings around an aggressive aspect of someone's (or your own) nature? Here is a different story about a snake:
There once was a very fierce and venomous snake. One day this snake met a wise teacher of the wisdom ways and was overpowered by the sage's gentle nature. In that moment, the snake lost its ferocity. The teacher told the snake to stop hurting people and so the snake, impressed with the sage's peaceful nature, made a vow to live life innocently and not to harm anyone ever again.
As the snake went forth in life, people began to realize that it was harmless and innocent and began to bully it, harass it and tease it continuously. The snake was having a rough time wherever it went.
One day, the snake came across the same teacher and when the sage saw how abused the snake had been, sat down to talk with it. After listening to the snake for some time, the teacher said: 'Unfortunately, you have mistaken my advise and have been applying it in the wrong way. By nature, you are a snake. You hiss and frighten those around you and so they do not bother you. I asked you to stop going around hurting people by injecting them with your venom without cause; I never said you couldn't hiss at or scare off those who would wish to do you harm.'
This is a great story about balance. Sometimes we are angry because we are being taken for granted, or are being abused, disrespected and/or have put up with far too much for far too long. To go around injecting everyone with our poisonous venom before we know their intentions will not remedy the situation. It is part of our Work to unravel the hows and whys of what we are feeling ... looking for the root of it all, we can dig it up and lay it to rest finally. In the meantime, we can hiss at and scare off those who would wish to do us harm (whether they are conscious of the effect their words or actions have on us or not) and be OK with that too. Repressing or suppressing our anger will not enable us to determine the best direction for our focused energy in the moment.
Sometimes we are imbalanced in our physical, mental or emotional aspects and this can lead to anger as well. It is up to us to determine the roots and to cultivate a more harmonious state. When our organs have imbalances our emotions are also affected. Movement and breath work assists us in clearing out tensions and energy blockages and are very helpful in restoring meridian balance, muscle and tissue relaxation. Diet can also wreak havoc on our emotional and mental states, as what we eat can create imbalances in the organ and system functions in our body and this can also impact how we feel and think. Looking at ourselves holistically is therefore vital.
So for those of you who have various fears or aggression manifesting in your lives, remember these stories and keep working. If you are not one of my students, seek out guidance or counsel sessions ...channel these energies out of your body via body and breath work as you need it and keep moving onward in your journey.
