Question 1: Illness and Contributing Factors
What do you feel is one of the major causes of my current illness? OR it's also been worded to me: Do you think my current chronic health condition might be related to something other than a purely genetic cause?
In my experience of working with people over the years, anyone who has come in to see me will recall that I do an extensive autobiography with them. If they are a serious student, they will have completed this autobiography as an assignment and we will have spent some sessions on it. I also ask a lot of questions about current lifestyle and potential sources of mental/emotional/physical and spiritual stress. Why?
I feel that most of what plagues us come from our histories and lifestyles. What about our histories and lifestyles? We are energetic ... mental ... emotional ... physical and spiritual beings. We are always experiencing and perceiving through our own unique energetic filters and responding to what we perceive and experience in our own unique ways. At various points in our lives, some of what we experience and feel is too overwhelming for us to process mentally/emotionally/energetically at that time and so it remains `in the dark' and is therefore not processed like other mental/emotional material we have an easier time with. The stuff that remains `in the dark' tends to get buried in various ways within us and indeed affects us in our daily life without us even knowing. In my opinion this is a major factor that contributes to illnesses and dis-eases today.
Being a practitioner of various body and movement arts over time, I have seen in others (and have personally experienced), how various daily stressors tend to create tensions in our bodies ... in our musculature ... organs and so on. When these tensions become chronic over time, they contribute to and are often the root cause of various illnesses we tend to develop.
We are affected by everything from our first environments as children ... to the foods we eat ... the many impressions we receive from the people and the world seen/unseen alike all around us ... and by everything we encounter along our journey in life. We are impacted by the quality of the air, the way that we breathe and the quality of the water we take in... We are nurtured or traumatized by various people and experiences....we act on and react to things all the time. Are these various factors contributing to constructive or destructive forces in your life?
Many of us deny the realities of our internal stresses and tensions - either not aware of them or afraid to admit to them or face them directly (imagining it is some sort of weakness to admit to feelings of various sorts ...or that it would be far too challenging to delve in and face certain things). When we are caught up in denial, we block our own potential for growth and healing. Sometimes, we have to wait until we are ready to do the real work; we have to respect that - both in ourselves and in others.
Balance and harmony contributes to health ... from the inside out! Imbalances and disharmonies contribute to destructive forces within and all around us ... whether in our psyches or bodies ... most of the time it's both ... hence the term 'psychosomatic medicine' or body/mind/spirit holistic approaches to well-being and health. Psychosomatic illness does not mean it is `all in your head' ... as though what you are experiencing is not real. It really means that what is going on within your psyche ... `in the dark' ... is directly affecting your physiology and requires your attention.
Read some of my other entries on the topic of healing ... which were also responses to certain questions some of you have asked me. It is useful to review those posts again.
Some additional reminders relating to healing and illness: Do you have ....
-- supportive, loving, positive, and mutually energy-exchanging relationships?
-- meaningful work or sense of contributing in some positive way? ... balanced with relaxing and leisure activities (also free from harassment and abuse in the workplace) ?
-- a natural rhythm to your life?
-- healthy balanced diet appropriate for you? ; clean air; healthy pure water; clean living environment?
-- movement and breath ... Do you know what healthy movement and breathing is?
Did you answer 'No' to some of these? Take some action to alter this.
When we are in our natural state and in touch with our True Essence, we can contribute our beauty, gifts and talents to the whole ... in this way, the world is a better place because of the unique piece we bring to it.
Question 2. : Codependency
I was asked similar questions by several people this past week relating to Codependency. I do not find this surprising, as relationships are often the reason people come in for one-one work and many of our relationships today suffer from characteristics of co-dependency.
I did write about this already in my book ... and this comes directly from my book, so it is copyright material and I ask that you respect that. No, my book is not done yet, but it is very close! Here is a bit about codependency for the ones who recently asked me some questions about it:
There is a
lot of material on codependency today.
This drama affects a huge portion of our population. Working as a counsellor, I found this at the
root of most issues people have come in to see me about when it involved a relationship
of some significance.
I highly
recommend that you look up a good book on codependency if you feel that this is
likely a huge drama in your life. You
can also seek out counselling from someone you resonate with in order to get
one-one additional support in relation to how this may apply more specifically
to you and your relationship ... and how this may be impacting your life.
What is Codependency?
I don't like labels, but for the purposes of explanation and lack of another way I have found to word it, I refer to individuals stuck in this pattern as `co-dependents'.
There are
many ways in which I have found this drama defined. To
me, an individual is codependent when he/she focuses so much on worrying about,
assisting, fixing or 'helping' someone else that they fail to work on their own
inner dramas and issues which require healing and change. As a result, they often become tired, drained,
sick, depressed, anxious, stressed, locked into a denial pattern and have
plenty of ideas about how to assist others when it is clear that they
themselves have enough to work on before they can attain a level of balance and
harmony within themselves and in their own lives.
Codependents
often struggle with their own issues of control ... rather than place their
attention on the balance and control over their own lives and inner self, they
place it outwards and feel the need to control someone else's out of control
behaviour(s). They, however, do not see
this as controlling and are often submersed in denial of their own issues.
A codependent person is often involved with
someone who struggles with addictions - which come in so many forms (workaholism,
thrill seeking, pornography, foods, alcohol, sports, technology, sex,
prescription medications etc.).
Codependents can also be involved with individuals who are obsessed with
or involved with cultish organizations, groups, associations and/or religions.
A
codependent will focus so much on the obvious addiction patterns and ignorant
behaviour of the other, that they can only see the other as having a
problem.
If a
codependent individual admits to having areas they need to work on, they will
usually minimize this, unless they are aware of the drama pattern they are
caught up in. In reality, the
codependent may also have or develop addiction issues that are unaddressed due
to their intense focus on the other and their own denial patterns. Intensely focussing so much on the external
leaves the codependent individual less and less in touch with how they are
really feeling or what is going on in their own inner life and outer
world. Due to the high amounts of stress that usually
comes with dealing with others who are dysfunctional, the codependent often
turns to various external substances to numb, to cope and to comfort themselves. Most of the time, they will deny that they do
these things. The problem then escalates
as this downward cycle spirals into its various dramas.
A
codependent relationship is highly dysfunctional and serves neither party
towards healing and wholeness.
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Seeking out support in the form of counselling can assist you in developing new and healthier patterns in your relationships.
